Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Lady, let me off the tram!


Public transport.

The mere thought of taking the tram or train every morning before uni or work makes. me. cringe.

(This is the point where you should prepare yourself for the impending rant I intend to now conduct)

Goodness, the idea of being shuffled and squeezed into a tight corner of the tram before I've had the chance to inhale my morning coffee makes me uncomfortable as I sit in front of my laptop now. Just this morning, I was crammed between a number of people, and, at one point, had nothing to hold on to.

Imagine that! Nothing to help me balance as the tram jostles along and turns corners!

Don't get me wrong: I'm not a prude about being forced into situations in which I'm placed within close proximity of other passengers (although gently nuzzling into someone's armpit is not something that appeals to me) and situations in which I will hence also often have to politely smile and channel my inner sense of natural courtesy to others (although, sometimes at that time of the morning, especially before my coffee, it take some effort).

But, the effort it takes is not too much: it doesn't take a lot to give someone a smile!

However, there are just a couple of general rules that I truly think people should follow when taking public transport.

(Insert Sarah's wisdom)

Number 1:
When the tram stops, please let me off the tram first before you decide to hurry on in. Surely you can wait a second for me to descend the tram?! I really would like to be able to get off the tram at the appropriate stop, rather than wait for the next one and have to walk further than necessary in Melbourne's random and unpredictable weather - maybe it's started raining or hailing or maybe there's a heatwave? Who knows! Just let me off the tram!

Number 2:
If you see me attempting to read (and hopefully understand to at least a level of superficial comprehension) my latest novel for uni, please, please don't decide it's the perfect time to loudly discuss over the phone that girl in your group for some group assignment who does no work. Just stop. Just. No. I can't. Read.

Number 3.
Your dubstep blaring loud enough for anyone else to hear from your earphones does not help in the slightest.

Number 4.
I worry about your hearing in the future.

Now that these rules have been set out, I'm sure we can all agree that it's only fair to let others - eg. persons of pregnant or elderly condition - take your seat if there are no others available. But, there's just one thing I need to address.

Being older than me - and I aim this particularly at those elderly persons mentioned above - does not entitle you to the right to be mean or rude to me or anyone (though I will add, of course, that I do not intend to generalise all elderly persons as rude or grumpy - this is a rare bunch, but a bunch that I can not help but discuss due to the clear impact they have had upon me and friends as well, I am sure). I am more than happy to stand up and let you take my seat, but please don't inflict your sense of entitlement upon me and thus irritate me for the rest of what will probably be an unpleasant journey home involving nuzzling into armpits, loud music and conversations, and passengers who won't let me off the tram before they cram in, in front of me.

606 words later (goodness I wish I could write this much this quickly for uni assignments - now that would be a skill I'd welcome with open arms), and I think I've sufficiently outlined the most frustrating factors involved in taking public transport.

And now, as I'm sure you can only imagine, I am most positively thrilled by the idea of taking a tram to uni tomorrow morning.

Please people, be kind.

Rant over.

Sarah xo

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