Que sera sera

Today/tonight/this morning (I can't decide what to choose - it's 1.17 in the morning), I've decided to tackle an issue that seems to have become quite pertinent in my life recently (a dramatic statement, I know).

As we speak/as I write/as you read, I am in the midst of a discussion with a friend of mine about chance and fate.

At 1.17 in the morning? you ask.

I will rebut the question I just posed on your behalf by saying that, now, of all times, is the time to delve deep into issues such as these. 

And so, I pose this question: is it better to make things happen in life (forge your own fate even), or to let things happen?

The more I learn about relationships, the more I realise they are so very much based upon games to the point of absurdity.

We wait until we have seen a person a certain number of times before adding them on Facebook, then we wait days, maybe a week, until it's okay to actually speak via this media. Then we take turns making moves (it's a bloody game of chess, I tell you - and yes, I did just get all Aussie, please accept it), and so we wait a week or two at a time, playing this game, and always retaining this aura of nonchalance; we love to project this idea that the other person is a mere afterthought, and we have so many other better things to do and other people to talk to that they are of less significance. We heighten our own significance and appear unattainable and thus (hopefully) more attractive in the other person's eyes.

The fact is, the more I discuss these things with others, the more it seems that it's the waiting around for the other person to make a move (and, let me tell you, a like on Facebook is absolutely not a 'move', let me be clear) is the most (although crucial) nerve-wracking and torturous part of this 'game'.

Will they reply?

Did I say something ridiculous?

Tell me they didn't detect that spelling error I just noticed from re-reading what I said and now it's too late to correct myself because they'll see I'm re-reading our conversation oh no oh no.

Which often leads one to think whether it might be better to just make things happen yourself; why wait around when you can just take the bull by the horns and actually do something, make something happen, forge your own fate and so on.

Then, of course, comes the issue of appearing foolish if and when nothing comes out of it, and slowly stepping away and cringing at your own behaviour.

How could I have been so foolish?!

How embarrassing!

I can never go to uni where they may see me again!

Etc.

I think, after much thought and consideration, I have come to the conclusion that, even though it's important to play a part in your own future/fate etc, sometimes it's best to just let nature take its course. Whatever's meant to be will be, and, after all, it's better than appearing foolish if you've tried a little too hard to make things happen and it's merely backfired (goodness, no one likes daily, needy texts from someone you've known for under a year, let me tell you).

Yep.

I'm still just sitting here waiting, waiting, waiting, playing this stupid game.

But if it works, it works.

Que sera sera, I guess.